Metaphorically speaking

The night air is still and the hostel grounds unusually silent. It's Saturday night and amidst the constant background hum of some insects, there is the quietness that chills the air further. Everyone is either out or back home, and here I am procrastinating tasks for another day. Sitting crossed legged till my feet turns numb, my mind rambles on in questions. I cannot read the minds of others, nor can I even grasp enough of my own thoughts to understand them. I am afraid of letting myself fall into a place that I swore I wouldn't ever go again, but I feel it creeping up, and I cannot stop the cascades of thoughts. An abyss near impossible of getting out of once you've fallen in. And there you are standing at the cliff, and someone tells you that beyond the chasm there is a whole new world that will open up to you, if only you take that plunge. And you stand there thinking, is it a door to possibilities or is it just a deep hole that will suck out all the emotions left in you? That leaves you wandering around, a lost soul, hollow to the bone, chills upon chills, broken and empty. A place you fought so hard to leave, locking them away in the recesses of your mind. Are you going to let it resurface and open it up again? In a different situation, in a different circumstance. But no one knows, would the outcome too be different? Or would history repeat itself, dark and turbulent, crashing upon the shores of your thoughts and tearing you apart? I cannot predict the future, and neither can you.. but would you take that chance?

They say you test the waters first before you go in. But what if the waters are down there below the hundreds of feet that you have to fall through first? Would you? Or would you hold back and wonder, wonder when later down the road, if you've missed the opportunity?

But now, standing there on the cliff, you wonder, is this an opportunity, or is this plain stupidity? Jumping down the cliff might just be exactly as it looks, suicidal. Perhaps the thoughts are merely thoughts, and thoughts are just imagination concocted by your over-imaginative mind. But maybe, just maybe, you are not alone.