Torn

Can you make sense of the swirling thoughts in your head as you try to gather them together? The conflicting emotions inside of you doesn't know what to make out of itself. Everything is just within the depths of your thoughts, its nothing more than mere imagination. Imagination has no power when it is intangible in reality. In a moment there's a rush of absolute natural high, then in the next moment, as a sentence is written, its an instantaneous crash. And you realise something has gone away and will never return. You know all these while it will slip away and you know it has been slipping away, and you have come to terms with that. But realising that it is not just slipping away but it has gone away, suddenly you miss it. And in the spasms of realisation, you are torn, torn. Torn within your thoughts and knowing you are just living within the happy boundaries of what the world sees as your life, yet knowing that somewhere within you lies parallel with the sad but beautiful song that is playing in your earphones. I always speak in the 2nd person, simply because I haven't come to terms with using "I". These thoughts are like a second voice resounding in my mind, telling me for all you've been doing, you're just trying to mask your insecurities by all the so called achievements. What is that really? What are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to prove yourself to? I don't think it's anyone else more than yourself. It won't mean a thing, if you don't remember what the whole process is for. It's not about getting there. It's about letting go. It's about moving on. It's about leaving the past behind.

Worth it? What is worth it? Is anything at all that is intangible worth it?

The voices in my head doesn't want to shut up and go to sleep. With all the I's and the U's, it is just a matter of time before I drive "u" (who is me) crazy.