Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and dream of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are dreaming of me too
I feel so vulnerable tonight... Lying here in the dark yearning for a comforting arm around me. I feel myself falling into a place where I swore I will never go again. I let down all my defences and I let the feeling wash over me. A fragile heart, please handle with care.
I am scared. I am scared of loving you. Some people make it seem so simple. I don't want to hurt again.
I want to believe. To believe that love is not overrated. That its not just a prelude to pain. I want to feel that loving and being loved is as beautiful as they make it to be.
2 comments:
Your musings feel and sound very familiar to me.. I went through that place once, it feels like it was decades ago yet yesterday. It's a scary place to be, you're never quite sure where you are and when the sun will come up again.. and I have done some very foolish things there..
Somehow it creeps under your skin and lingers until one day it feels almost nostalgic. I guess that's why I'm commenting here when I have never commented on a blog before.
I just wanted to let you know, it won't be like that forever. Not unless you let it be. Sinking is easy, you just let go.. You'll never get hurt that way, but you'll also never get happy. I have since learned that there is a balance everywhere. As high as there are mountains so deep are the valleys .... as warm and soft as the sun can feel, so cold and sharp can the night feel .... as deep as your heart can hurt in an endless void, so soaring high can love go with endless hands holding you up ....
I have never truly soared, but I think I have left that place of eternal doubt behind me. One day I decided that when in doubt, when in pain, I would use logic to try and make sense of the world. Since then I have taken some very huge leaps of faith, moved to the other side of the world and have even gotten married.
You sound like someone who bothers to think and search for your unique truth instead of slapping on a label. I think 10 years from now you too may be surprised at how far you've come.
Good luck, your truth will come in time.
hey.. i don't know if you will ever see this, but thank you. thank you so much for the words.
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