Late at night

Late at night, I can't fall asleep. I shouldn't have been looking at old photos. I shouldn't have been digging for memories. When I lie down, tears slide down my cheeks. I remember those nights when I felt particularly vulnerable and I would cry softly in the dark. I remember those nights when I felt like that and you were there. You could wrap your arms around me, even though not understanding why I was acting the way I was, but those nights, I suddenly felt that I was not alone anymore. I remember one night after a series of days like that, and you came over and hugged me and said to me softly don't cry tonight, and those words, it touched my heart. It made tears fall down again, but not because I was sad but because I was so touched that I was loved, I was cared for.

And now I lay on my bed and the tears keep falling and they keep falling and they keep falling. And there's no one to hold me close. I feel all alone. I miss you. And it hurts so bad that I miss you. That I miss someone who doesn't miss me anymore.

And the whole day I am fine, I am happy even. I laugh, I go on with what I do, I have fun. But late at night, these feelings creep up on me again. The tears just can't stop tonight. The hurt just cuts through and my heart it hurts. Its hurts. It hurts.