Another wordy post....

I have been surrounded by a thick fog that clouded my vision, and now it's time to break away from all the restrains of doubt that has bound me thus far. From somewhere deep within I will need to draw the strength to make the best of what is left. I am to live life with no regrets, and I will not regret. For to regret is useless, to mend is what's useful.

There are still a few things that depress me to bits but I will try not to care. I made a promise to myself today, a promise so cynical, I hope I won't be forced to keep. I have been stupid these couple of months, but it's not to late to turn that stupidity around. I will try to be content with what I have at the moment instead of chasing for the impossible.

For other matters, my dreams are still floating in the wind, and what comes next depends on where the wind blows me to. Every small decision we make changes the course of our lives in some way. A decision I made two years ago made a huge impact on my life the following years. A decision I made barely a few months ago is showing the difference it's making. And the decisions I will make soon enough will be life-changing and they will affect other people. Change is always daunting, especially if one is not sure if change is what one wants.

I always wanted more than what a normal person wants. Perhaps it's because I feel that what any ordinary person wants, I can't have that easily. So in order to comfort myself, I go for bigger fish. Having dreams, setting goals, they have always worked for me. The only problem is that whenever I want something that I can work for, I always get it in the end. Since every dog has its day, I wonder how will I take it when one fine day, I fail to do so, and everything I worked for, everything I worked towards, they all just fall apart and come crashing down. Will I be able to pick up the pieces and be whole again? Will I be able to find the strength to get up again?

On second thoughts, to think about it, I have had so many disappointments in my life, and so many let downs I think I can very well bounce back up after a few emo nights. I've forgotten how many down points I have had. Somehow good memories stay good long after they happen, and yet bad memories, they just don't seem so bad after all.

I guess everyone faces the same few issues. Different as they may be, it's the essence of humanity that binds us together. The way we share the types of emotions, the way we connect socially, even our biological DNA is 99.9% identical.

Tomorrow it's back to my no-life routine. Study day ahead.