To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart

I was forwarded a chain email, which incidentally I didn't delete before reading. A sentence caught my attention: Love people and use things, not use people and love things.

I have always been a cynic. Love is never one of the topics that I ever write about, except in a sarcastic cynical way. Perhaps it's because I think love is overrated, over-commercialised. I once did an assignment/presentation on the science of love, when we were to choose a science topic for an english assignment. I spent a lot of time and effort on that, and looking back at the files on my computer, here's one of the sentences I wrote in the introduction. Cynically, I am here with an objective to put forward the idea that in a way, love might just merely be chemistry and biology messing with our minds. Yes, my cynicism doesn't escape academic situations. An extract from my assignment:

Similar areas of the brain of a person high on cocaine with a person in love, and that of a mental patient and that of someone in love are lighted up (MRI brain scan). This explains the crazy things people do, which they would not do under normal conditions when they are in love. It also explains the irrationality and the lack of proper judgment. This may very well be said to be using your “heart over your head”, and that “love is blind” when in reality, it is just the chemicals messing with your head and turning your fined-tuned biological functions haywire. Romantics will hate this explanation.

It was an extremely interesting report, which I am so proud of, but the paper is probably collecting dust somewhere, or god forbid, thrown away after being scanned through just once by the lecturer to be graded. It covered love from all scientific aspects of biology, chemistry and psychology, and it also covers a theory on homosexuality.

But, let me put aside that science geeky-ness of mine for once and talk like a normal person.

Real love is when you think of someone else before yourself, when you give your heart out even if it means it makes you vulnerable. It's when just being around someone, doesn't matter what you're doing, and it makes your day complete. It's when someone makes you smile to yourself even when the person isn't there because you thought of that person. It's when nothing else seems to matter, and the world just disappears when you're with that person. It's being true to yourself and at the same time connecting emotionally with someone else. It's when you are willing and wanting to give someone everything you could ever want and more. It's when the thing you look most forward to is seeing that someone again, and it's the only thing you feel that keeps you alive. Love can be beautiful, if only it is real. Sure, the cascades of emotions may feel real but truth be said, life is no fairy tale, and love is nothing close to happy ever after. Did I mention I don't believe in love?

*tried to write something sweet and sappy and failed miserably*

I guess I am still cynical of love. Hopefully, one day someone will prove me wrong. Anything that makes me act like I've gone mad and uncontrollably drives me to extremes is dangerous, especially when I can't stay away from it once I fall into it. In a way, love is like drugs. You get addicted and then when you can't have it, you suffer withdrawal symptoms, and it becomes so hard to get over, sometimes people just succumb to the addiction and become a wreck. You swear and swear again and again that you will never fall in love, but I guess people are made to love, whether or not it's stupid or whether or not it's the most beautiful thing on earth. I guess in a way, love is like fire. It can be your friend, and it can be your foe, depending on how it's handled. It comes along when you least expect it, and wham! you're stuck in the whirlwind and you can't get out. Definitely not my idea of fun.

By the way, I think looks are superficial. If I EVER do fall in love, I swear it will only be because of who the person is inside. No matter how good a person looks, it means nothing. I search for meaning, not just eye candy. I never believe in love at first sight. Except of course, for my awesome black and silver puma backpack. =p

Human relationships are not things. Love people and use things, not use people and love things. If I do love, I will love with all my heart. I am not a full cynic, just half a cynic, and somewhere inside of me I want to believe that true love does exist in this cruel superficial overrated world.