Poetry

Suddenly I am reminded of a stanza from a poem I recited for a poetry recitation competition when I was ten. Yeah I STILL remember these lines, and they play themselves in my head so ironically (you'll know what I mean when you read the stanza). Those days, I was still terrified of going on stage, my heart would be pounding furiously before and as I walk up, and my whole body felt like it was literally shaking that I wondered if people noticed. I got so terrified I thought my voice shook, but I think it never did. I was afraid of ridicule, afraid of looking stupid, afraid of making a big mistake. Ironic how I got over stage fright, I love being on stage now, and talking to people, but I am even more afraid of people real time. Anyway, the first stanza, the only one I can remember from memory:

The world is such a happy place

Where every child should dance and sing

And always have a smiling face

And never grumble for anything

The world is SUCH A HAPPY PLACE indeed. Did I really believe that? It's funny how I get so emo when I'm writing, but when someone who is sad talks to me, I always seem to turn positive. It's odd don't you think? Speak emo-ly to someone who's usually emo, and they'll turn positive just to comfort you. I think all humans are emotionally craving creatures. I remember back in KK once, I was talking to this permanent pessimist friend of mine, and sounding absolutely optimistic, he says that for me everything is a garden of flowers, all happy and filled with sunshine. It's so ironic it amuses me. I tell you, I am no optimist nor am I a pessimist. I just sound negative when I write because I only write when I am in a pessimistic mood, and then I feel better after that. Optimism = happy mood = no urge for therapeutic rants. Plus, I write better when I'm pessimistic. You can compare the emo and non-emo posts for yourself. I think the former expresses a whole lot more than the latter does.

Do you know that twinkle twinkle little star has more than one stanza? My first ever time on stage, primary two.

After the stanza we all know and recite as kids, this is stanza two from my memory

When the blazing sun is gone

When he nothing shines upon

Then you show your little light

Twinkle twinkle all the night

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are.

There was a third paragraph but I have forgotten it. Something that talks about unveiling curtains and travelers and peeking through something something. Amazing how these poems still stay in my memory, and yet I can't even remember what I learnt in class today. I think I am getting dumber. haha No, I think our mind is like the computer, the more you put into it, the slower it gets. Pretty soon it all gets clogged up and it hangs. Information overload.

It's been ages since I wrote my own poetry. Used to have a book of poetry. Yes, filled with dark poems, but I always thought they have a certain beauty of their own, even though for most cases they are usually just crap. Suddenly have the urge to write in rhyme.

Cascades of memories shimmer in my mind
Ahead seems fuzzy, the past lost behind

A moment ago evanescing to the far beyond
Triumph, glory, vanishes. the dark side won

Argh I wrote three stanzas just now, and I have no idea what it was, I didn't get saved =( It's lost. The moment of inspiration has gone. I can spew no more rhymes from my keyboard. You know they say by studies done, the dirtiest thing in your house is NOT your toilet bowl, but it's your computer keyboard.

Yes my old love. Poetry. I can't write even if my life depended on it right now. I always knew I never had the talent.

I sum up the strength to look ahead
The swirling mist. doubt. holds back.
It's not ego speaking its being afraid
No one will ever understand that.