I have been so lethargic lately, nothing goes into my mind. It's like my mind is floating away in lectures, and it's not because I am thinking of something else, it's just that I am not thinking.
I am weary and exhausted. I could do with a break.
I'm getting that pair of nike shoes. Something to look forward to. A few more weeks to go, a month left before I finally return home. For once in ages, I am actually looking forward to it. =) Even though all I have back home is half my family and probably just one friend, I guess there is still no place like home. It's calm and it's reassuring. And I miss having good fish to eat. Maybe I'm turning stupid because I lack omega 3. =P
I think of the calm waters of the South China Sea as I ride along the road, the crowing of the severely confused rooster at all times of the day, the trickling of the stream against the smooth rocks just outside the house perimeter, the spaciousness of our high ceilinged one storey house, internet that doesn't have anything against me, and a brand new shopping mall that was merely in construction the last time I was back, and suddenly it feels like home would be a good place to be.
I miss being sharp and being able to function better than this. What is wrong with me?
Was it all just a fragment of imagination? Maybe it was. Probably it was. And yet what it evoked was and is still real. Real enough to lose all my senses and fall deep down to a place I swore I will never enter again.
Lesson learnt. Never swear you won't again because it's jinxed. Once said, it becomes inevitable and it's deja vu all over again.
I said I believed miracles are all around us in the bleakest of situations. Maybe they are, or maybe they are too a fragment of my imagination, conjured up for comfort.
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