There is no need to hide

There is no need to hide behind a veil of bombastic words, no need to hide behind a mask of pompousness, for sometimes the best things are the simplest.

We are all impressed by the flowery words, but when one digs deeper, the true colours start to show, and the flowers fade away. I see what I should have seen before, and yet I did not. It's always too late to go back and change the past, but it's never too late to change what comes next.

I'm trying to ignore the cringing that comes with reflection.

On a lighter note, happy chinese new year. =) I learnt that there were more kinds of nian gao than that you find here in Malaysia. Apparently there is a kind thats like noodles (shanghai nian gao) and also a kind made of coconut milk.

In a month's time, I'll be heading off to Sydney to start a whole new chapter of my life. I will miss KL so much, especially those people that made these near 3 years the best years of my life yet. I'll be flying back to KL after this short break to complete exams, then there is the trip to Penang to look forward too. Closing this chapter in my life is going to be a little hard. I am definitely looking forward to going into a new frontier, but at the same time a bit reluctant to leave the current.

What new horizons awaits me, I can only guess.

AHLA 4123 Introduction to psychology

I've been studying psychology for tomorrow's exam, and I came across the symptoms of bipolar disorder, which were indeed strangely familiar. Also known as manic-depressive disorder, it is characterized by mood swings from one end of the spectrum to the other. From elation to depression, intense happiness (for no cause) and then sorrow. According to my notes "manic phase - excessive excitement, silliness, poor judgement, restless... etc... depression - sleeping more than usual, lethargic,withdrawal, irritability"....

which gets me thinking.....

man, that sure sounds like me... hahaha

NO, I do not have a psychological disorder... (DENIAL = refusal to face the truth) LOL. I'm pretty sure everyone else is like that too (PROJECTION- thrusting one's own unacceptable impulses onto others so that others are also believed to have those impulses.) You see, at those times, I am just under stress. (RATIONALIZATION - use of self deceiving justifications for unacceptable behavior).

Now my body needs to adapt to the STRESS. According to Selye, this occurs in 3 stages : Alarm, Resistance and Exhaustion.

I am now EXHAUSTED. Time to go to sleep before it causes death (one of the symptoms of stress that is not dealt with). From beta waves (awake) to alpha waves(drowsy) to theta (stage 1), sleep spindles & K complex (stage 2), delta (3 &4) then to REM sleep (paradoxical sleep) where I'm dreaming and integrating the memories of these psychological concepts. Hopefully I will never have Apnea, and suddenly stop breathing in my sleep.

I am SPECIAL, uNIQuE and INvuLNeRAbLe!!!!! (yeah right... just an adolescent PERSONAL FABLE- part of adolescent egocentrism). Stop taking to your imaginary audience!!! Your behaviour is suggesting faulty perception/ interpretation of reality!!(suggests psychological disorder?)

Hopefully this post will help me pass my exam tomorrow.

Just a note: alcohol provides relief from anxiety, depression and loneliness

mwahahaha ok thats enough studying for a day. My brain will integrate the information as I sleep and tomorrow I will have insight (Aha! Seems as if pieces of information have suddenly been reorganised and leaps out at you) of the dreaded exam after this period of incubation (standing back from the problem, some mysterious force will work it out and GIVE you the ANSWER!!!! wheeee).

Delta waves currently changing to alpha waves on the EEG (electroencephalograph) now...

psychology is soooo applicable =)

GRRRRR

My temper has been extremely short lately.

I am currently very vexed.

GRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Angry.
Annoyed.
Irritated.

STUPID!

My time also need you to tell me how to manage MEH?!!

Happy new year!! A moment of reflection - out with the old in with the new -

Earlier this morning I was talking in subdued tones with nothing but the faint glow of the moonlight and distant streetlamps till the soft light of the morning rays filtered through the curtains at the start of a brand new year. Nostalgia creeps up upon me, as I remember those moments similar to this, staying up through the night and just talking. This new year was a quiet one, as there were only four of us (Tracey, Kaiyik, Wooi Jye and I) ushering in the new year leaning against the balcony of the stairway leading to the 19th floor and watching the stunning display of fireworks across the KL skyline as we sipped red wine and munched on crisps. Only once a year will I just stand there and marvel at the beauty of the lighted KL night against the dark sky. The simple yet warm feeling fills me up and I realise how beautiful this life really is. How four friends sitting on the playground bench minutes after midnight and chatting, laughing and sharing is suddenly more valuable than all the world's riches. I am reminded of how very rich we truly are.

The view was even more spectacular than what you see here in the photo

And guess what.. for the new year... I have a BRAND NEW PHONE!!!!! =D =D That picture of the KL skyline at night was taken by it. Say hello to my Nokia 5310, so slim, so sleek, I can't stop playing with it!

As I bid 2008 farewell, I do so with a fondness of heart and a slight tinge of reluctance. It was like letting a good friend go for good to a better place, knowing that all that I can hold on to are memories. 2008 has been an amazing year. It was a year of accomplishments, a year of decisions, a year of soul searching, and a year of friendship. It has been a year of ups and downs, with lots of joy and laughter, alongside countless sleepless nights, worry, stress and tears. It has been a year of opportunities, of fruitful pursits, of gaining new insights, and a year which was abundant in new experiences. Albeit all the mistakes that I made in the past year, as I reflect upon 2008, a smile forms on my lips and silently I feel myself swell with pride. I did make the most of the time I had, and as the year comes to an end, I am proud to say that 2008 has indeed been the most fulfiling and satisfying year of my life yet.

The highlights:

COMPETITIONSS!!!! This year I made two trips abroad.. ALL EXPENSE PAID!!! Wheeee

Public Speaking Competition (April '08- May'08) brought me to London and Young Entrepreneur's Awards Busniess Plan Competition(Dec '07 - June '08) brought me to Hong Kong

The media coverage was amazing. Never have I been in the newspapers so many times in a year. After I came back, I savoured my temporary fame for awhile. It was the first time in my life where people I don't know stopped me and asked if I was the girl who joined the public speaking competition. =D =D

The semi-finals at KDU College

The finals at Eastin Hotel, PJ

The training workshop over the weekends at The Star office

The last coverage: ESU International Public Speaking Competition in LondonIn the US Embassy London, where the international finals were held

Last year was the year I proved myself to myself, and with that remind myself that dreams of greater things can become a reality as long as one perseveres.

I am now officially a TAR College advertisement =p lol The posters, the LCD screen in the canteen and I just found out, The Sun newspaper too.

They even printed my write up in the college newsletter =) (The page on the right)

Young Enterpreneur's Awards

Finals at KLGCC

More media coverage!!!! =D =D =D =D

Hong Kong June '08 ~ Malaysian Contingent~

My own published works in the Star newspaper!!!

2008 was also the year I graduated from diploma with distinction, and with a book prize as icing to the cake =) It was immensely satisfying. =D Two years worth of hard work. But the best part was taking photos with my friends and my sis =D

Hats off!!

With my sis ~ Thanks for the flowers, and for coming =)

2008 is the year where I first chemically treated my hair. First I had a few red streaks dyed. (no photo coz I didn't have a camera then). A few months sgo, I decided to have a perm. Now I'm contemplating a new look *grins*.

Other bits and pieces of what I did last year: I emceed two events, the college public speaking finals, and the ICT showcase 2008. I spoke during the orientation week and also was a facilitator for the college's public speaking workshop. I went to Seremban, Melaka and Port Dickson but I missed the Penang trip =( I experienced an overdose of CH3CH2OH. I went to Genting to have lunch and came back down. =p I started this blog. =D I went from happy-go-lucky to super stressed to emo girl to happy-go-lucky again.

And as the new year dawns, what fills my mind and heart is the awesomeness of the friends that I have around me. In the past year, the support I received kept me going as I moved forward to embrace my dreams. I learnt that I am never ever alone, and there is always someone more than happy to help, as long as I ask. In the darkest times, it was you, my dear friends, who were the light at the end of the tunnel. In the brightest times, it was all of you who made my life even brighter. I cannot imagine how the year would have been like without you guys. My dearest dearest friends... Tracey, Jordan, Ya Peng, Carlyn, Fred, Kavin, Wooi Jye, Siew Bing, Ling Siang, Kenny, Joy, Kaiyik, Syn Dee, Leaf, Hui Lu, Kitson, Shi Wenn, Ronnie, Pretib, Des, Eric, Ben... and the list goes on... =D Thank you especially to Tracey and Jordan, my best and closest friends in KL, Eric the best competition friend ever and Des the most amazing listener who's always there when I need someone to talk to. You are the most wonderful friends one could wish for.

Here are just some photographs of the many we took throughout the year:

In KLCC Park

Chillin' out in Ruums

In Mr Leong's last forensic tutorial DCB2 April '08

At Gombak terminal, waiting for the bus to Genting. Check out our tickets!

Port Dickson


Even McD can be a place of memories =)


The outing where almost everyone was there =) Sawadeeka K4 DCB2 ~April '08~

A3 ACB 1 ~Nov '08~

20th Birthday ~ Oct'08

CB Nite ~ Dec '08

And of course, the usual classes... apart from lectures...

tutorials

presentations

practicals

Being so caught up with life, I was only back home twice last year. I was back for a month during Chinese New Year, and just two weeks in September. Nevertheless, no year is complete without my family. To mum, dad, jie, sheng and jian.... Happy New Year, and thank you for being the wonderful family that I have. Even though I never say it, I really do appreciate and treasure you all and also being part of this family.

With my siblings... KJ, Rouwen, and KS during KS's birthday ~ Feb '08 ~
Dad's the photographer, and mum is camera shy =p

As 2008 departs and 2009 arrives, I gather the courage to march forward and seize the opportunities presented to me. What better way to end the year than great news of a scholarship that I have been waiting for for years. =) I am filled with mixed feelings of anticipation and anxiety, as what lies ahead is personally an uncharted territory. I know that my life would be very very different this year. Suddenly my public speaking theme "new horizons, new frontiers" bears a whole new meaning. In a few months it will be a new life, in a new country, with new friends. I know I shall miss the old life very much, and I will always hold all the memories close to me. I cherish each and every experience, and each and every footprint all of you leave in my heart.

I end this long post with a quote:

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched... but are felt in the heart."

~Helen Keller ~

2008 was the best and most beautiful year yet. May 2009 bring abundance in more beautiful memories, both in my life, and in yours. No matter where the future brings me to, one thing is for sure, and that is I will always and forever cherish the people around me, all my friends and my family who made me who I am today. I love all of you so so much.

xxxooo