Just another day in college

I got to know of two sets of news, one today, one in the recent past, both along the same alignment and both inducing a self-forced state of apathetic-ness. I start to wonder if the root of the problem is indeed yours truly. Perhaps if one were to dig deep down psychologically, there might be a reason for all that has simply slipped out of grasp. Is it who I am on the outside or who I am on the inside that makes things the way they are? A thought creeps out of the recesses of my mind. "It is all your fault."

Today I got a sugar high on green apple bubble tea.

Now, that high feeling the sugar rush gave me is gone and my mind wants to hide in a semi-comatose state.

Of public speaking and schrodinger's cat - My weekend

The college's public speaking workshop was held on Saturday. This time, I was not a participant, but am more of a facilitator (albeit unofficial). I did a short sharing and also handled a half an hour session of the workshop. Mr Johnny, who spoke for 2 hours about "The Art of Public Speaking" was brilliant. When I first stepped into the room, I was shocked to see so many people. I guess I didn't expect to see as many people as I did. I started to worry, because I felt that I wasn't really prepared. As I did not have a computer, I could prepare the slides but I was not able to practise with the slides till Saturday itself. However, I breathed a sigh of relief when Ms Sri told me that only the participants for the competition itself will be staying back after lunch (which was where my session comes in). The first part, the sharing, didn't go quite well. My pendrive was giving some problems, and the laptop couldn't read it, until after many tries. Then, when I started talking, I stuttered a little, paused A LOT, forgot everything, referred to my unreadable scribbling, and overrall, I think did an awful job. =( Nevertheless, at least I ended it OK. (Thank goodness). After Ms Sri briefed them on how the competition rounds were going to be like, it was time for the "how to write a good speech" part of the workshop. This time, as I started talking, I started to feel the same comfortable feeling that I used to feel whenever I spoke up on stage. It was like I was in command, and this was my comfort zone, and I am talking about something that I know very well. =) I was still skeptical about how I did, but the lecturers seem quite happy with it, so that's another sigh of relief. Nevertheless, as the qualifying rounds ensued, I started to get this nostalgic feeling. Being a participant and an observer gives a different feeling altogether. Watching the participants being nervous, chatting excitedly after they completed, talking about how they couldn't think of anything to say, etc etc... I found that I missed the "competition feeling". Being participants together creates a certain sort of bond, but being a non-participant creates a slight distance even though we are all still students. Suddenly I crave for a competition. I miss all the excitement, the nervousness, the suspense, and the connection participants have. My competitive spirit is restless. It needs satisfying. =p

Last night, I was over at my sis' place. We went out nearby for the most scrumptious satay which was very satisfying indeed, but sighed in dismay as it started to pour with rain. Neither one of us brought our umbrellas out. The rain was incessant, so when the shopkeepers started to clear up and draw down the horizontal doors, we decided to just walk in the rain. The rain had subsided a little, but not stopped. It was a chilly night, so I decided to have a warm shower at her place instead of risking frostbite with a freezing cold shower back in the hostel at midnight. After that, it was already past midnight, and 50% extra charge would apply on taxis anyway, so I just stayed on. We were about to watch a movie at first, but neither of us was in the mood, so we just talked. And of all the topics to talk about while both of us were in a sleepy state, we ended up discussing QUANTUM MECHANICS!!! Imagine that. x_x We were discussing Schrodinger's cat and Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. The cat is actually a very interesting analogy in quantum physics which explains the uncertainty principle that I learn in chem. Apparently, the story goes this way: A cat was placed in a chamber which was filled with some radioactive substance. If the radioactive substance were to decay, a mechanism whereby a hammer will break a vial of hydrocyanic acid(poison, probably more easily recognised as cyanide) will be triggered and this will kill the cat. However, to an observer, before you open the chamber you have no idea whether the cat is dead or alive, because you do not know whether any decay has taken place. Thus the cat can either be dead or alive, and if an average was taken then the cat is both dead and alive, and since we do not know for certain if it is dead or alive it is both dead or alive or neither dead nor alive. The cat is said to be in superposition of dead and alive states. Apparently, this analogy explains the uncertainty principle of electrons, in which states that the exact position and momentum of an electron cannot both be known at the same time with certainty. It is also related to the wave-particle duality concept of photons of light.

I still don't understand it fully. When you add in the theory of multiple universes, that is when I start to faint.

And yes, that was yesterday's bedtime story. I guess that explains why it was so difficult to get up this morning for class.

Loneliness

The day feels just right for contemplating in the heavy silence of solace. Like a strangling mist, an intangible feeling blankets my mind. Smile a little, chatter a little, while inside the feeling wrangles and tangles and chokes. And yet I cannot place a finger on the reasoning behind it. I have no idea what causes this emptiness of being so surrounded by people yet so alone at the same time.

This picture has a certain melancholic beauty about it. Merging feelings of sadness with peace through the lighting and the shadows and the dark casting of a silhouette, it transports me to a place of reflection. I guess that sorrow does have a tinge of splendor to it in spite of its sombre settings.

The skies have been pouring in the evenings, and are followed by chilly nights. A perfect setting for self inflicted blues. A walk in the night on empty streets with the cold wind and a quiet silence, so beautiful, so peaceful, yet so barren. Imagination is vast but reality is but one. Peaceful or depressing? Guess that's a mouthful up for the confused mind to decide.

Computerless

It's very inconvenient indeed to not have a computer. Especially when I need to use it quite a bit. I need to prepare two presentations for the public speaking workshop in college by this saturday. My computer had tons of pictures I could put in, unfortunately the computer is lying somewhere waiting for the technician to take a look at it. I can prepare the slides in college but I cannot practice the presentation beforehand. =( Furthermore, assignments are coming up, and a lab report needs typing. It's a chore to have to constantly use the college's computers. I am being internet deprived. I really doubt the people in the computer center have even diagnosed the problem. That's after sales service to you. Before sales services are awesome, but after sales services (or lack of) can really drive you up the wall. Phone calls with "We also don't know.. have to wait for this and that and this and that and that it's with 'them' not with 'us', so just wait wait wait." Waiting is so freaking exasperating!!

A lecturer of mine had an interesting outlook on the human pesona to share. He said (the gist of it) that humans are made up of 2 parts. One part is hardworking and the other is lazy, and if we leave nature to run its course, the lazy portion will eat away at the harworking part until it takes over, and the hardworking pesona is no longer there.

Somehow, that just conjures up pictures of pacman in my head.

Fruitworm

I spent quite a bit of time with the fine art of washing and peeling the red dragonfruit I bought from the pasar malam (night market) yesterday. The fruit looked a bit strange upon skinning, and I thought that it was slightly blacker than usual, and also slightly mushier. Nevertheless, I dismissed it as having more seeds (as the seeds are black) and that the fruit was just a tad bit over-ripe. My fingers were temporarily stained reddish purple as I happily started slicing.

I have a habit of eating slices of fruit as I am cutting them so I bit into one of the slices, savouring the semi-sweet taste of the still-cold fruit. It was at that moment, taking a bite of the delicious red flesh when I suddenly noticed something white and wriggling on the plate of the half sliced fruit. I froze for a moment and took a closer second look. Sure enough, the dragonfruit was infested with wriggling white and very much alive WORMSSSS. GROSS. It triggered an automatic involuntary gagging response and I couldn't help rinsing my mouth over and over again, compulsively. Of all the creatures, I am most affected when I see worms, especially when it might have been in my mouth! =S

I couldn't touch the other dragonfruits in my room, at least for the rest of the day.

Urghhh x_x

32 hours a week

Just printed next sem's timetable, and because it looked so packed, I counted the number of hours.  It amounts to...................  32 HOURS!!!!!

Sooooooooo not going to have a life.

Check other science courses in SAS (school of arts and science) : 20 + hours

business courses: around 15-18 hours

chem & bio: 32 hours.  THIRTY TWO!! 

whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttt

.............. oh well..................

somehow we'll survive =s

Transformation

I have always had naturally straight hair.  And when it's long it can be as straight as I want it to be.... 

But, I got bored.  So.....

TADAHHHHHH

The new me =D

haha what do you think?