Crossroads

Standing at the second crossroads of my life, I am in a dilemma, and I need to make a decision. What shall it be? A poem by Robert Frost, which we learnt in secondary school comes creeping up in my mind. A road not taken, one of my favourites.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood,
and I -- I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

I remember there was one question which stumped my when I was studying this poem a few years ago. It was "did the poet regret his decision?" It is only now that I realise that both roads were actually the same, from the line "the passing there had worn them really about the same" and the "road less travelled by" is a concoction of the poet's mind. It is a mechanism to tell himself and convince himself that he made a heroic choice. First he stood at the crossroads, looked at one and then the other, thinking that the 2nd was a better choice "fairer", but on second thoughts they were the same. "And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black" reconfirms the actual state of the two roads, which is they are equal. And yet at the end, he still tells the story with a sigh, signifying that he has a tinge of regret and wonders what the other road might have taken him too. "I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference" shows that the poet thinks that decision is a very important life-changing choice and what his choice was changed his life. He might be telling the tale with a sigh, but it does not mean that if the other road is taken, he will not reflect with a sigh about how it would be if he took the other road. For in the beginning they were both the same, and it could be either road that he has taken. I personally think it is a matter of perspective. I remember the first crossroads of my life, how it was hard to make a decision. I spent a long time on the phone going over the pros and cons with the world's best listener and I remember one thing very clearly, and it is to think carefully and make a decision and once it is made, to stick with it and not regret. The first crossroads, I admit has not been perfect, and I have looked back once or twice and wondered at the possibilities. But looking at the road that I took, I would have not traded this for anything else. For maybe that path had opportunities that I missed simply because I chose not to follow the road, but in this path, I would have missed plenty of other opportunities too. So was I glad I made the decision? I am. Did some people disapprove? They did. Did they think I made a wrong choice? Some clearly said they did. But do I think I made the right choice? I don't know, but I know that the choice has taken me to places that I would probably not have gone to if I stuck to the original road. Perhaps there is no right choice. It's just a question of which choice and they are fairly equivalent. (which is the only reason why a choice is hard)

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And now at the second crossroads, I think I will adopt the same principle. Whichever road I take will be met with criticism. Whichever road I take will have pros and cons. But the decision is mine and mine alone to make. I have been talking to people and I think I have a rough idea what decision to make. I received very contrasting opinions which I appreciate very much. They carry a lot of weight in my decision making process. I just need to talk to more people before I make my final decision.

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And thank you once again to my pillar of strength. It's always comforting to know someone is always willing to listen whenever I need someone to talk to.

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Anyway just a piece to think about. This was what Robert Frost himself said with regards to his poem:

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"I wasn't thinking about myself there, but about a friend who had gone off to war, a person who, whichever road he went, would be sorry he didn't go the other. He was hard on himself that way."

Bread Loaf Writers' Conference, 23 Aug. 1953

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I intepret that to be that the persona was hard on himself either way, and no matter what road he takes he will wonder with some form of regret about what the other path would have brought. This is a lose-lose situation. What about thinking of all the things that have been gained with that road taken? The other road just has what-ifs. The road you really take is reality. And another friend is right.. once you make a decision don't regret. If you face obstacles just solve it.

I have been reading chicken soup for the soul and found this extremely meaningful.

"Dreams are never destroyed by circumstances; dreams are born in the heart and mind, and only there they can ever die. Because while difficult takes time, the impossible just takes a little longer."

Art E. Berg

"You are given a great opportunity, don't throw it away." Thanks for making it so simple. This was one of the most convincing conversations of all.

"Money you lose, you can earn back. Opportunity once lost, is lost forever."

University is more than getting that overrated piece of paper. This morning I was leaning towards the one road, now I'm looking more towards the other. I believe everything will be alright. I would like to talk to my pillar once more. Thank you everyone for your time, I really do appreciate it.