Friday, December 5, 2008

Of shattered dreams

A mixture of guilt and want and disappointment, of confusion, of dilemma and at the same time of responsibility. The feeling is dilapidating and its crushing me. Of shattered dreams like shards of glass piercing through every fiber of my being. I am not a child, trying to shield me won't cause anything but disappointment. False hope is just stupid.

It feels as though everything I worked for, all the time spent, all the effort. It's just a bloody waste of time.

I don't have the heart to carry on with as much fervour as before. All of it, it all seems so redundant right now.

I'm just so tired of chasing dreams.

90 million children have no access to education. Every second someone drops dead somewhere in the world. Every few seconds someone gets killed. With a death rate of 826 per 100,000, I'm lucky to just be alive.

I don't have a right to be upset. And yet I am. Every ounce of strength has been extinguished. I am just so bloody tired of it all.

Help me through the next few weeks.

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